Two Questions That Can Change Your Life

“To get amazing answers, you must ask amazing questions” – Anonymous

Today, (right now, actually – don’t put it off!) I invite you to ask yourself these questions put forth by motivating author Kurt Wright in Breaking the Rules:

1.What’s right? and   2. What’s working?

I had a lovely session with a client recently where we were struck by the power of these questions (I’ve since been encouraging many more of my clients to use these questions too!). At the start of the session, this client was feeling stuck and frustrated by a number of circumstances in her life. Things seemed bleak, and everything felt like a big problem with no answers to be found.

Can you relate? I know I have many a day when my monkey mind wants me to feel that way too.   As we worked through the session, we came to clarity about all of the things that were actually working well in her life. Turns out, there were a few challenges going on, but also (and this is true for all of us, no matter the circumstances – truly!) there were also many, many things that were working and going very well. Once my client shifted her attention there and remembered what was right and working, she had plenty of energy, motivation and clarity to help her tackle the challenges that were in front of her.   I’m not saying don’t honor and care for yourself when you are faced with challenges, or pretend they’re not happening. Support
and nurture yourself in challenging times, of course.

However, much of the time, there are as many good things going on in our lives (if not more!) than “bad things”. For example, one of my clients remembers the time when her mother died as one of the most powerful times in her life, because she used our coaching to help her choose to be present to what was right and working – the time she took to pay attention, really be with her mother, appreciate the time they had together and the blessing of being able to say goodbye.

We are so conditioned to pay attention only to what’s not working, what we need to change, what we label a Big Problem. And of course, we do have frustrations, challenges, pain and difficulties. However, if we are willing to give that kind of conversation in our minds all of the “air time”, that’s the only experience we’ll ever get.   I hear people say often while grumbling about problems “well, you know, if it’s not one thing, it’s another.” I feel so sad each time I hear that expression, because indeed it can be true. If we are willing to put our attention on bad news, annoyances, difficulties and the like all of the time, then yes, that is what we will get…for a lifetime.   However, it’s possible to turn that old expression on its head. YES – if it’s not one thing, it’s another….amazing thing! The sun came up AGAIN today! My lungs keep drawing in air, ALL DAY long! A box with wheels carries me for MILES in the space of a few minutes!

For example, no matter what’s going on in your world today, you apparently have some device that allows you to read a message like this. That’s amazing! And, I assume that because you’re reading this message, you’re also breathing – this too, is very good!

And, as the old adage goes, what we appreciate, appreciates!

How about you? What’s right? What’s working? What’s amazing?

Post your responses here – some lucky post-er will be chosen at random to win something very fun!

12 thoughts on “Two Questions That Can Change Your Life”

  1. For me, I try hard to focus on the present moment. Often I need to step back and re-remind myself, but that is what is working for me. When I slow down & look at what makes my life good and am patient, more good comes of it!

  2. By an amazing set of unforeseen circumstances, I was able to attend the 40th Anniversary Waltons Reunion at a gorgeous old movie palace in New Jersey on Friday. The fact that it was so fun and so completely out of the blue has left me in a really joyful space.
    Then there’s also the blessing of a warm cup of tea on a cold morning in a heated apartment and a warm shower to look forward to. I am very grateful that simple things like that are working, because when I think about everyone who went into making that possible, it is rather mind-boggling. Thank you, plumbers and electricians of the world!! 🙂

  3. Dear Jen

    Thank you so much for the reminder. Of course I know all these things, but somehow tend to forget. It is indeed so easy so dwell on the problems
    that keep popping up.
    There are so many things to be thankful for, big and small.
    Example: right now I am back in Eldorado Village in Florida, that is a very BIG positive.
    Looking forward to a Reiki session with your Mom. Very big positive.
    I will now go sit outside in the sunshine with a cup of coffee, and think of all the other good things in my life.

  4. This was a great way to start my day before heading to yoga. I’ve been doing exactly this a lot more recently and it feels so good. I do feel more energized, less gloomy and generally more interested in life and my own well-being. It has been a challenging year in our life but within the pain and struggles Brad and I have learned a lot and we’ve grown and in many ways that which brought pain also brought so much joy. As always, thank you for bringing a beautiful and mindful pause to life and for adding a reason to smile.

  5. I just participated in a 2-day mindfulness retreat in a beautiful rustic setting in the mountains (only an hour’s drive from home!) and I feel centered, clear, energized and cared for. Thanks for the invitation to spend some time appreciating!

  6. Jen, thanks for the wonderful reminder of how simple it can be to change our mindset. (Simple, but not always easy!). Love the intentions behind these questions. I just finished doing my morning gratitude list and watched my energy elevate by focusing on all those yummy good things in my life. 🙂

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