“To get amazing answers, you must ask amazing questions” – Anonymous
Today, (right now, actually – don’t put it off!) I invite you to ask yourself these questions put forth by motivating author Kurt Wright in Breaking the Rules:
1.What’s right? and 2. What’s working?
I had a lovely session with a client recently where we were struck by the power of these questions (I’ve since been encouraging many more of my clients to use these questions too!). At the start of the session, this client was feeling stuck and frustrated by a number of circumstances in her life. Things seemed bleak, and everything felt like a big problem with no answers to be found.
Can you relate? I know I have many a day when my monkey mind wants me to feel that way too. As we worked through the session, we came to clarity about all of the things that were actually working well in her life. Turns out, there were a few challenges going on, but also (and this is true for all of us, no matter the circumstances – truly!) there were also many, many things that were working and going very well. Once my client shifted her attention there and remembered what was right and working, she had plenty of energy, motivation and clarity to help her tackle the challenges that were in front of her. I’m not saying don’t honor and care for yourself when you are faced with challenges, or pretend they’re not happening. Support
and nurture yourself in challenging times, of course.
However, much of the time, there are as many good things going on in our lives (if not more!) than “bad things”. For example, one of my clients remembers the time when her mother died as one of the most powerful times in her life, because she used our coaching to help her choose to be present to what was right and working – the time she took to pay attention, really be with her mother, appreciate the time they had together and the blessing of being able to say goodbye.
We are so conditioned to pay attention only to what’s not working, what we need to change, what we label a Big Problem. And of course, we do have frustrations, challenges, pain and difficulties. However, if we are willing to give that kind of conversation in our minds all of the “air time”, that’s the only experience we’ll ever get. I hear people say often while grumbling about problems “well, you know, if it’s not one thing, it’s another.” I feel so sad each time I hear that expression, because indeed it can be true. If we are willing to put our attention on bad news, annoyances, difficulties and the like all of the time, then yes, that is what we will get…for a lifetime. However, it’s possible to turn that old expression on its head. YES – if it’s not one thing, it’s another….amazing thing! The sun came up AGAIN today! My lungs keep drawing in air, ALL DAY long! A box with wheels carries me for MILES in the space of a few minutes!
For example, no matter what’s going on in your world today, you apparently have some device that allows you to read a message like this. That’s amazing! And, I assume that because you’re reading this message, you’re also breathing – this too, is very good!
And, as the old adage goes, what we appreciate, appreciates!
How about you? What’s right? What’s working? What’s amazing?
Post your responses here – some lucky post-er will be chosen at random to win something very fun!